This weekend I had a total 500 Days of Summer moment. You know when Tom goes to Summer's party and he expects that they are going to spend the whole night talking and eventually make out and get back together? Well I know exactly how Tom feels...
On Friday a guy I used to date called me and invited me to a little get together he was having with friends. We dated about 8 months ago and slowly drifted away from each other. He wanted to date multiple girls, and I didn't want to be one of many so we stopped talking. We just wanted different things. 8 months later out of nowhere he calls me and invites me to his party. I don't know why, but I hoped that maybe it's because he misses me and wants something more serious now. I went to this party with hopeful thoughts and to see if he is worth giving a second chance.
My Expectations: My friends and I get there, he sits and talks to me, and possibly apologizes for what happened in the past. He tells me he misses me and would like to see me more often, maybe cuddle a little or at least flirt. Then end the night with him telling me he will call me soon.
Reality: My friends and I get there and he is very very drunk. He sits and talks to me for about 5 minutes. Everyone goes to the living room to play Cards Against Humanity and one of his "friends" sits by him. She rubs his head, back, and thigh the whole time as I sit right next to them awkwardly. As everyone is leaving I overhear him ask her if she wants to spend the night (she said no). He hugs me and thanks me for coming, and we leave.
I gave him another chance and learned he's not worth my time or effort. And thats ok. Figuring out who you don't need in your life just opens up space for people who do see your worth and will return the effort you put in. I might have struck out this time, but at least I tried. I'm ready to move on and find someone who values me.
What I learned is that it's great to give people second chances, it's quite possible they could have changed for the better. But don't be disapointed if they are still the same person they used to be.